I think "AAARGH!!!" is an understatement at this point.
#s 2 & 3 are expected, because the earliest version of OS X that can be upgraded to either Yosemite or El Cap is Snowy.
After that, I'm at a loss other than to say that it's time for you to either click on joemike's Amazon link and buy a thumb drive or
- Wipe your OTG,
- clone 10.6.8 onto it from your iMac,
- boot your iMac from the clone,
- d/l the El Cap installer from Apple onto the OTG,
- erase the iMac with DU,
- run the El Cap installer,
and if that doesn't get you to where you want to go...