Your problem sounds similar in nature to the one joemike ran into with his M-1, wherein he couldn't get max throughput from his external drive without having a monitor plugged into some port or other.
I don't remember his outcome, but I remember him referencing an OWC dongle that
maaay be your solution.
Sorry, but I can't provide a link.I think
NewerTech HDMI Headless 4K Display Emulator is the guy I'm thinking of.