I comprehend none of the jargon associated with cell phones, including smartphones. (I cannot follow any of the discussion regarding iPhones and such in other parts of the FTM forums, other than to figure out people are frustrated by various aspects of their use.)

I can understand and manipulate Schrödinger's equation and many other aspects of quantum mechanics, but I sure don't have a clue about cell phone terminology or smartphone apps, or why one even gives a rat's patoot about the latter — and yet one has to in order to be able to use one.

I don't know what service provider plans are/mean or how charges might be calculated. I can figure out what "voice" means (but could be wrong). What is "data"? And how would one know how much one might need? What is "roaming". What are all the other bits and pieces which providers seem to nickel and dime and dollar users to death with?

The billing for my simple landline is pretty straightforward — a charge for a residential telephone line and a charge for 911 service, plus taxes, and that includes accessing my dialup Internet service which costs me virtually nada. That said, I recall seeing multipage AT&T phone bills in the States which were virtually incomprehensible for a landline.

As far as I can tell, there is no "Cell Phones for Dummies" or "Smartphones for Dummies" in existence. But that's the sort of thing I'd need to understand the intricacies of the subject, especially the costing. And not to forget how to reliably protect one's privacy from illicit and 'police' intrusion.

I've approached the little drones which run cell phone kiosks in shopping malls to try to get a sense of what's going on, but they seem incapable of explaining anything in a coherent or comprehensible fashion.

Where do I go from here?