RE Edit 2: What you're going through is an object lesson in the value of periodic, incremental upgrades.
I don't get that either. What should I be upgrading?
OS 9 --> OS X 10.0 --> OS X 10.1 --> OS X 10.2 --> OS X 10.3 --> do you get it now?
You'd have learned gradually and shared the learning experience with the entire body of Mac users as opposed to enduring the agony you're now going through.