An open community 
of Macintosh users,
for Macintosh users.

FineTunedMac Dashboard widget now available! Download Here

Topic Options
#16858 - 08/06/11 05:00 AM Feckless Nitwits
grelber Offline


Registered: 08/05/09
Loc: North of 49th ||
For a change of pace ...

I'm working up a riff about stupid, inconsiderate people and their behaviors (along the lines of "You might be a redneck if ...").

Any peeves or suggestions would be gratefully received and thoughtfully considered.

Here's a start:

You know you're a feckless nitwit (or thoughtless numbskull or mindless a-hole or dim-witted douchebag) if ...

... you're 20-something and have a big truck for no good reason.

... you have a cellphone/iPod/iPad and no money.

... your only 'life' is on Facebook.

... you park in a disabled space and aren't.

... you take up two metered parking spaces and only pay for one.

... your RV is bigger than your primary residence.

... you have cable and/or broadband and can't feed your kids.

... your car's stereo system cost more than the car.

Top
#16859 - 08/06/11 09:37 AM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: grelber]
roger Offline


Registered: 08/04/09
Loc: Vermont
.. you're 20-something and have a big truck for no good reason.

I saw a bumper sticker that explains this one:

"nice truck. sorry about the small penis."

laugh
_________________________
MacBook 2.4 Ghz · 4 Gb ram · 10.7.5
stuff I'm interested in
iPhone 4s 7.0.2

Top
#16860 - 08/06/11 02:10 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: grelber]
JM Hanes Offline


Registered: 09/03/09
Sounds like you had a rough day in a parking lot somewhere!

If....

.... you're a civilian of any age and have a Hummer for any reason
.... you slow down to 3 mph at speed bumps in your 3 ton Chevy Suburban
.... you stop at the yellow light I was going to run (not original, but I sure coulda said it)
.... you think the checkout line with 10 people pushing overstuffed shopping carts is going to be slower than the line with one woman holding coupons
.... you're the woman in front of me who pulls out her coupons at the last second and hasn't checked the use-by dates on any of them
.... you're standing in front of me in any line for anything


Top
#16862 - 08/06/11 04:24 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: grelber]
JM Hanes Offline


Registered: 09/03/09
.... you don't want to spring for a babysitter, so you drag your kids along to see Apocalypse Now.

.... you show up for dinner at my house 15 minutes early. And then ask how you can help, when I obviously had to throw on a robe to answer the door.

.... I offer you a choice of ice tea, orange juice or soda and you make me choose for you.

.... you cheerfully insist on cleaning up after dinner when I've told you I'd rather you didn't.

.... you don't let me know you're a vegetarian and then assure me that eating the rice without my fabulous stir-fry won't bother you a bit.

.... there is no pun too mundane for you to make. You take groaning as a sign of encouragement.

.... you hesitate over a joke which might be inappropriate, and then let someone persuade you to tell it.

.... you tell lawyer jokes to lawyers, because they'll really appreciate the humor.

.... you think the bride and groom actually enjoy reliving their most embarrassing moments in rehearsal dinner toasts.

.... you've been invited for the weekend and you show up with your dog. Who hates cats. And has fleas. And is almost house-broken.

I can stop anytime!

Top
#16863 - 08/06/11 04:51 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: JM Hanes]
alternaut Offline

Moderator

Registered: 08/04/09
Originally Posted By: JM Hanes
I can stop anytime!

Oh, no, please don't! My cringe muscles are long overdue for a workout. grin tongue
_________________________
alternaut moderator

Top
#16875 - 08/07/11 10:06 AM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: JM Hanes]
grelber Offline


Registered: 08/05/09
Loc: North of 49th ||
In the word of Monty Burns: Excellent.

Top
#16887 - 08/07/11 10:35 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: grelber]
artie505 Online


Registered: 08/04/09
...you get to the front of the line at the exact-change toll booth and don't have the exact change.

...you invite an observant Jew over for dinner and prepare shrimp jambalaya with chorizos.
_________________________
The new Great Equalizer is the SEND button.

In Memory Of Harv: Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. ~Voltaire

Top
#16888 - 08/07/11 11:01 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: JM Hanes]
artie505 Online


Registered: 08/04/09
> .... you're standing in front of me in any line for anything

I particularly like that one! grin
_________________________
The new Great Equalizer is the SEND button.

In Memory Of Harv: Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. ~Voltaire

Top
#16895 - 08/08/11 02:22 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: alternaut]
JM Hanes Offline


Registered: 09/03/09
Quote:
Oh, no, please don't!


Well, then! smile

.... you start any sentence with, "I probably shouldn't say this, but....."

.... you don't know that "cutting tax expenditures" is a euphemism for tax hikes.

.... you're an atheist who demands proof of God's existence from believers. Extra feckless credit for anyone who thinks that argument is ever won or lost.

.... someone doesn't grasp the point you think you're making, and you accuse them of willful misconstruction -- or stupidity.

.... you buy the first version of anything Apple produces.

.... you spend a lot of time at the gym now, in order to extend the amount of time you'll spend in the nursing home later.

.... you sit around thinking up things that make other people feckless idiots instead of doing the knee exercises your doctor prescribed.

So many oxen to gore, so little time!

Top
#16901 - 08/09/11 12:49 AM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: JM Hanes]
Pendragon Offline


Registered: 08/04/09
Loc: Georgetown, Texas, USA
Originally Posted By: JM Hanes


.... you start any sentence with, "I probably shouldn't say this, but....."



You start a sentence with, "Not to put too fine a point on it, but..."
_________________________
Harv
27" i7 iMac (10.13.6), iPhone Xs Max (12.1)

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. ~Voltaire

Top
#16932 - 08/10/11 01:13 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: JM Hanes]
tacit Offline


Registered: 08/03/09
Loc: Portland, Oregon, USA
Originally Posted By: JM Hanes
.... you're an atheist who demands proof of God's existence from believers. Extra feckless credit for anyone who thinks that argument is ever won or lost.


That one seems perfectly reasonable to me. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof; if someone says "The world was created by a giant red-winged moth with purple spots and a fez," then it seems okay to say "Really? How do you know?"


Edited by tacit (08/10/11 01:14 PM)
_________________________
Photo gallery, all about me, and more: www.xeromag.com/franklin.html

Top
#16948 - 08/11/11 09:05 AM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: tacit]
Virtual1 Offline


Registered: 08/04/09
Loc: Iowa
Originally Posted By: tacit
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof; if someone says "The world was created by a giant red-winged moth with purple spots and a fez," then it seems okay to say "Really? How do you know?"


Because the moth told me so.
_________________________
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department

Top
#16949 - 08/11/11 10:48 AM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: Virtual1]
grelber Offline


Registered: 08/05/09
Loc: North of 49th ||
Me too! And (s)he was sooo biutiful! tongue

Top
#16951 - 08/11/11 11:15 AM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: Virtual1]
tacit Offline


Registered: 08/03/09
Loc: Portland, Oregon, USA
Originally Posted By: Virtual1
Because the moth told me so.


But do you have the tag from the inside of the fez as proof? smile

One of my sweeties and I joke that the universe was actually made by a gigantic invisible purple dragon, and we can prove that it is true. We have scientific, empirical proof that the dragon is invisible, because we can't see her. We have faith that she is purple. We have personal revelation that she's female. Thus, science, faith, and revelation have all worked together to prove the invisible purple dragon!
_________________________
Photo gallery, all about me, and more: www.xeromag.com/franklin.html

Top
#16954 - 08/11/11 01:17 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: tacit]
grelber Offline


Registered: 08/05/09
Loc: North of 49th ||
Hotcha!!
I could almost buy into that, but given my generally bizarre proclivities .... tongue

Top
#16985 - 08/12/11 02:43 PM Re: Feckless Nitwits [Re: JM Hanes]
Virtual1 Offline


Registered: 08/04/09
Loc: Iowa
Originally Posted By: JM Hanes
you show up for dinner at my house 15 minutes early. And then ask how you can help, when I obviously had to throw on a robe to answer the door.
...

I can stop anytime!


please, stop, cooking in the nude. you're going to burn something. and I'm going to lose my appetite.
_________________________
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department

Top

Moderator:  alternaut, cyn