My preferred option is column view. If this is enabled, there is no way to uncheck "show preview icon" and make it a default setting. The pertinent defaults can only be found in list view or icons view. I would choose those, check the default and then revert to column view. Then it would stick.
I think you're misunderstanding how view options work.
In Snow Leopard, for example, there are five views: Icon, List, Column, Cover Flow, and Desktop. Other OS versions have a different list of views, but the concept is the same. Each view has its own set of options, independent of the others. For example, you can have "show icon preview" enabled for one view but disabled for another view, even on the same folder.
A Finder window can be in any of the first four views. The desktop (by which I mean the part of the screen behind all the windows) always shows ~/Desktop in Desktop view.
A folder
may have defined view options for each of these five views. These are the options you see with "Show View Options". Until you do that, the folder simply doesn't have defined view options for that view, and will use the default view options for that view instead. You set the default options for a view by clicking "Use as Defaults" in the view options window for any window currently using that view. Either way, the meaning is:
If this folder is being displayed in this view, these are the view options to apply.
Each Finder window has a "root" folder, which is initially the folder that window was opened on (from the Dock, or using Finder's Go to Folder menu command, or inserting a disk), but clicking on a folder in the sidebar or toolbar or double-clicking a folder's icon in icon view makes that folder the root folder for the window, even though you're not opening a new window.
A folder may also have a default view (set by checking "Always open in..." in the View Options window), which is the initial view used for a new Finder window rooted in that folder. A window's view can be changed without affecting the default view (if any) for its root view. Once the window's view is determined, the applicable view options are found as described above: if the window's root folder defines view options for that view, use those; otherwise use the default view options for that view.
Notice that you may be looking at the same folder in different ways at the same time. ~/Desktop is always visible (in Desktop view) on the desktop, but may also be visible inside one or more Finder windows. You could thus be simultaneously seeing the contents of the Desktop folder in all five views (on the desktop and in four different Finder windows), each view having its own independent set of view options.
Failure to understand this could lead one to believe that view options were sometimes "not sticking", when what's really happening is that you're changing view options and then changing views. View options do not carry over from one view to another.
Force-quitting Finder can also make one think view and other window settings are not sticking. If you force-quit Finder, it doesn't get a chance to update the .DS_Store files where all these settings are saved. Force Quit is extremely rude: never force-quit any application if there is a politer way to ask it to quit. To save settings, either log out, or more simply quit Finder using the Terminal command:
osascript -e 'tell application "Finder" to quit'Change "quit" to "activate", or more simply click on Finder's Dock icon to relaunch it.