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Posted By: Bensheim Helping people - elsewhere, I hasten to add - 10/31/11 04:11 PM
On another forum I see people posting technical queries which are so simple that even I can help. (I always wonder why they don't ask the internet before posting easy questions such as forgetting their Gmail password.) So I look it up, reply with links and friendly support, but as the years go by, I am less and less inclined to help because they never come back and report results, or say thank you to other posters who have put time and effort into trying to help them.

So maybe it's just me. Before I post a question here (unless it is obviously light-hearted such as how do computers know the time when the clocks change) I always do my own ground work, sometimes for days, not just a quick look. Maybe other people (elsewhere!) are too idle to research, and want a quick-fix on a forum and then forget about it. Maybe they're just bad mannered in not reporting back or thanking people.

However, my theory is that all those who do not thank for free advice, queer the pitch for those coming afterwards. I'd be interested in the views of those people here who are absolutely splendid with their unstinting, free, expertise and support. What do you think?

Thank you for reading this!
I agree that it would be nice to have some feedback after posting a response, but I won't stop helping people just because a few are inconsiderate about expressing thanks.

I also try to do some research before posting a question. Most of the time, I succeed in solving my own problem so the question never appears on this forum.
Yes, I think most of the regular visitors of FTMF and its predecessor MFIF recognize the picture you paint. Your guess as to why is as good as any. I suppose the lack of feedback from posters about their experience with suggestions made can be annoying, but that annoyance is usually short-lived as the thread in question tends to die and attention is diverted to others.

I think that people interested in troubleshooting will not easily be dissuaded from doing so and discontinue posting their suggestions as long as they have time and a general interest in the topic. What might happen in forums that attract a higher than average number of non-responsive OPs is that certain contributors migrate elsewhere. A change of diet and all that... laugh

With regard to doing some research before posting, I've found over the years that problems I couldn't figure myself had a higher chance of not being resolved whenever I posted about them. Of course, that chance also depends on the size of the pool(s) you're fishing in. Still, given that I did get answers in other cases I still wound up being better off than not having asked those questions in the first place.
I've long ago let go of the notion of doing things out of an expectation for how other people will respond. At least things outside of my personal and romantic life.
Same here Jon, which is exactly my point. Earlier today I wondered how to get rid of Mail's prompting when I enter the first character in the To field. Some of those people I had fleeting contact with and are irrelevant, now.

I looked it up on the internet (Mail "help" being no help), and found out how to edit Mail's prompts. I learned something today (not the only thing I learned today smile ) so didn't need to bother any internet forum about it.


That's the kind of enquiry I meant. Something easily solved on the internet.

Originally Posted By: tacit
I've long ago let go of the notion of doing things out of an expectation for how other people will respond. At least things outside of my personal and romantic life.


I'm getting there gradually, including my personal and romantic life.

A philosophical point: I sometimes think that by the time one has learned all lessons in life, it is too late to apply them. You're nearly dead.
Originally Posted By: Bensheim
I'm getting there gradually, including my personal and romantic life.


Well, some expectations of one's romantic partners are reasonable. "Won't punch me in the face" and "won't steal all my silverware and use the money to shoot heroin into their eyeballs" spring to mind, for example.

Others seem to be popular but are less reasonable, like "won't ever find another human being sexually attractive." Learning to sort the reasonable expectations from the unreasonable ones takes a bit of work, I'll warrant.
Originally Posted By: Bensheim
A philosophical point: I sometimes think that by the time one has learned all lessons in life, it is too late to apply them. You're nearly dead.

The way I heard it from my west Texas cowboy/rancher grandfather, you quite learning only when that first shovel of dirt hits you in the face. From he vantage point of 72 years experience I am grateful for everything I have learned over the years, but that only opens the door for more knowledge and most importantly, more understanding.
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