Out of curiosity I was checking to see whether MacBooks, Pro and otherwise, as well as iMacs have a modem.
Even though I can find no information via Google more current than 2007, it would appear that nothing Apple makes has a modem.
For me this is a deal killer. Dial-up is my only reasonable access to the Internet, which I use well under 3 hours per day. Cable and other types of higher speed access are outrageously priced (everywhere in Canada), so I have no intention of acquiring such.
What to do, what to do.
Any suggestions?

I remember that there are some USB modems

Apple use to sell one (can't see it anymore on Apple's site)
but you can surely find some from other retailers, or manufacturers

Apple USB Modem.

In the event that your location wreaks havoc with this link, I got there by Googling on Apple USB Modem. The first hit was Shopping results for Apple USB Modem; the first entry in that list was a link to the product itself, available in the US, new, from five different vendors and ranging in price from US $40-90 plus shipping. (Note that there are many other possibilities than the Apple-branded device.)

Merci for the info.
So an external USB modem is the only option. Feh.
For a couple thousand bucks you'd think that Apple could've thrown in a modem.
Instead of upgrading I'm thinking that a Luddite experience is looking ever more attractive.
I may even go back to using snail-mail as a preferred mode of communication.
I can only hope that my iMac DV SE can crank out another couple of decades.
Time to suit up for the Super Bowl.

Hmm, that'd be an expensive modem... Kidding aside, wouldn't that reasoning apply to yourself equally?

I'd like to see that suit of yours if it takes you a couple of hours to don...
(I think I'll stay informal.)

Hear hear!!! and... a floppy disk drive too.
[those things can't cost that much anymore.]
What ever is with Apple these days?

Did i hear someone say SCSI?

It could be.

As for suiting up for SB XLIV: Actually it's really dressing down (literally) and lying around (in close to the alltogether) like Jabba the Hutt to revel in the festivities.
But I thought I'd spare you the potentially crippling and/or nauseating mental image.

And right now it's Colts 10 / Saints 3 .

I've already got a floppy drive which I had to buy when I got my iMac DV SE; but I sure wanted an internal one.
(And try not to generate any weird mental images from that last comment.)

Hmmm... There's a Bluetooth device that I've had in mind for a while now that...

Final tally for SB XLIV (just for purposes of 'closure'):
New Orleans Saints 31 / Indianapolis Colts 17
Ain't that a kick in the head?! (Actually, between the uprights.)
Now, if the NE Patriots had been there ...

Sorry about your attempt at closure, but you might want to bookmark and remember this Reader Report on modem options in case you need one.

Merci. I had checked out that source earlier, but now I see that it's been very recently updated with comments.